The Mysterious World of Cuddle Parties
Let it be known that I am terrible at making friends. Socially, I really have no idea what I’m doing. Ever.
As a result, I spend a lot of time looking at Meetup. In the last year I’ve moved to a new state, so I’ve been looking for something new that catches my eye. Cuddle parties certainly did that.
I’m going to be honest and say I have no intention of attending a cuddle party. But they stood out to me. What are cuddle parties all about? Who attends these events? Are they sexual?
I kinda get it. Touch is powerful, and I think we are often afraid to admit that we need this kind of affection from other people. But would I feel comfortable giving and receiving this kind of affection from strangers? I don’t know.
Unraveling the Mystery
From what I can tell, cuddleparty.com is the premier source for all your cuddle party needs. The website promises confidence, clarity, communication skills, and support through the power of non-sexual touch. Apparently the trademarked Cuddle Party involves some sort of certification process, which is rather interesting to me.
Additionally, the website lists a series of steps that happen when you come to a party. First, you arrive at someone’s house and change into pajamas if you wish. The Welcome Circle introduces the rules and participants before the room opens up to “freestyle cuddling.” While it appears that cuddle parties offer snacks and other refreshments, your high comes only from oxytocin. No drugs, no alcohol allowed.
Those aren’t the only rules at cuddle parties. Consent is also a major component of participation in the cuddle scene. Ask before you cuddle.
Who Runs These Events, Anyway?
Looking back further, the earliest cuddle party I could find was in New York in 2004. I looked up the facilitator of one of the leading cuddle party situations in my area. The self-described former “controller/CFO of various financial institutions” has been hosting parties since 2007 and has been involved in several MLMs, including Young Living and Shelf Reliance (a new one to me). Not exactly my thing. But I noticed similar stories of former corporate employees quitting their jobs to pursue yoga, tantra, and other alternative ventures among local facilitators.
Of course, there are many other cuddle parties in the sea. Whether you are in California or Sweden, you can find a party in your area. And there are actually a lot of different facilitators to choose from. Not sure if that’s a thing that matters, but I can see how the facilitator might impact the type of people who come to the parties.
And Finally, Is It Sexual?
No. While cuddle parties are apparently not about sex, it is interesting that the facilitators tend to have a link to sex workshops, tantra, and different areas of sexual health. There does seem to be some overlap in that area, but you should not expect to show up at a cuddle party and witness any sexual activity.
I’m still not sold on the concept, to be honest. Affection is powerful to me, and I think I need a more intimate connection to the toucher to reap the rewards. But in spite of losing some of its mystique, the concept of getting a party together simply to cuddle is fascinating.
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